Scientology Reflections (6) 10 Years After Leaving-A Darker Reality
This is the sixth post in a series that I am publishing in 2024. The series is on the journey I have been on AFTER leaving Scientology and Dianetics and what my experiences were, and mistakes I made, and things that I learned, some shortly after leaving Scientology and others further along the way, even up to the present day. Some of this involves Scientology and Dianetics. Some involves the process of leaving a cult. Some is just knowledge that I could have benefited from knowing sooner, that may even be unrelated to the cultic topic entirely.
For anyone who is unaware, I was in Scientology for twenty five years, between 1989 and 2014. I left in 2014 and discovered that Scientology is a harmful fraud and jam packed with lies and further it is composed of techniques plagiarized from other practices and sources. Ronald Hubbard had the ability to take a practice, file off the serial numbers and repackage it as his own in first Dianetics and later Scientology.
Something worth mentioning that is a huge part of the world of cult recovery and the process of leaving a cult is the phenomenon of people that are affected by the leaving of a cult and their experiences in the cult.
It is a topic that is not generally addressed in society as it should be in my experience and opinion.
The book Shattered Assumptions by Ronnie Janoff-Bulman deals with the issue of people having experiences that break their assumptions about themselves and the world.
In my opinion the theory recognizes a very real phenomena. I am not saying it is a perfect model or absolutely certain it is correct regarding every detail of the theory and I definitely do not know if the therapeutic method recommended is effective.
But beginning to recognize and describe a problem or issue is a vital step to addressing the problem or issue. So, in my opinion the model is worth examining and for many people the book is worth reading.
I am going to very briefly quote a few excerpts from the Wikipedia entry on shattered assumptions to give a concise description of the idea:
Shattered Assumptions Theory
In social psychology, shattered assumptions theory proposes that experiencing traumatic events can change how victims and survivors view themselves and the world. Specifically, the theory – published by Ronnie Janoff-Bulman in 1992 – concerns the effect that negative events have on three inherent assumptions: overall benevolence of the world, meaningfulness of the world, and self worth. These fundamental beliefs are the bedrock of our conceptual system and are the assumptions we are least aware of and least likely to challenge. They constitute our "assumptive world," defined as "a strongly held set of assumptions about the world and the self which is confidently maintained and used as a means of recognizing, planning, and acting" by C. M. Parkes. According to Janoff-Bulman, traumatic life events shatter these core assumptions, and coping involves rebuilding a viable assumptive world.
Basic Assumptions
According to Janoff-Bulman, people generally hold three fundamental assumptions about the world that are built and confirmed over years of experience: the world is benevolent, the world is meaningful, and I am worthy.
These are tacit assumptions that serve as a basis of our well-being and our guides in navigating daily life. Together these assumptions provide us with a sense of relative invulnerability that enables us to awake each morning and face the day. Thus in her book Janoff-Bulman notes that the most common response she heard when doing research with very different victim populations was, "I never thought it could happen to me." Brewin & Holmes expand this list to five main assumptions, adding the world is predictable, and the assumption of invulnerability. The belief in predictability is represented in Janoff-Bulman's meaningfulness assumption, and invulnerability is afforded by the three fundamental assumptions she posits. There is therefore consistency across the two views.
The world is benevolent
This assumption concerns one's overall impression of the goodness or virtue of the world. This constitutes two sub-assumptions: the benevolence of the world as an entity, and the benevolence of the people in that world. The benevolence of the world and people refer to the world and people close to us rather than the larger, distant impersonal world. These core beliefs begin to develop through early interactions with caregivers. These two ideas can develop independently through selecting experiences, but aren't exempt from influencing one another. Measuring this type of assumption has been done using the Negative Cognitions about the World subscale of the Posttraumatic Cognitions Inventory.
The world is meaningful
The second fundamental assumption addresses not only why events happen in our world, but why they happen to specific people. A meaningful world is one that makes sense--it is one in which we can see the contingency between a person and his or her outcomes. In other words, an outcome, positive or negative, makes sense when it corresponds to the person's behavior or character; such a world is predictable and what happens to us is not random. When an unjust event happens to an 'undeserving' person it is viewed as unfair or wrong. On the flipside, it is assumed that a good person encounters positive events, and that careful people who engage in the right behaviors can avoid negative outcome such as serious illness or debilitating accidents. Bad, careless people are expected to experience negative events. When a person who is good in the eyes of their loved ones dies young of an illness, it seems unfair, particularly to the loved ones of the deceased. Thus, the early death of someone who is "deserving of good things" can shatter the assumption that the world is meaningful or logical.
The self is worthy
The final fundamental assumption evaluates one's self as a positive, moral, and decent--and thus deserving of good outcomes in life. Individuals' assessment of their self-worth contributes to their success in life. A person's positive self-worth encourages them to be effective in their tasks at hand. Generally, this assumption enables an individual to maintain a belief that s/he has the ability to control positive or negative outcomes.
Shattered Assumptions
According to the theory, there are some extreme events that shatter these worldviews. They severely challenge and break assumptions about the world and oneself. Examples of such events might be the unwarranted murder of a loved one, being critically injured, being physically or emotionally abused by others, losing a job and not having an income, or living through a pandemic. Such events are particularly traumatic for people who have had a generally positive life. Because these people have such strong, optimistic assumptions, the disintegration of these views can be more traumatic. End quote from Wikipedia
I have witnessed a number of things that are related to this. In many social media groups that are related to escaping abusive relationships and relationships with people labeled narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths and various other types of human predators I saw that a large number of people go through certain things, many are similar to cult survivors who leave or are cast out of cults.
One thing that is prevalent is that many of these people have a dark view of the world. Their past assumptions that the world is just are shattered. They don't believe that good things happen to good people. They know that bad things, horrible things, truly evil things can happen to anyone.
They often discovered that abusers can manipulate and con the systems in society such as family court, divorce court, the police, and other institutions to get what they want.
They discovered that the human predators in this world can fool people including family and friends as well.
The author Bill Eddy has been dealing with this issue in court as an attorney and specialized in conflict resolution and dealing with difficult to deal with personalities for years.
He has over twenty books on many aspects of the issue including political leaders, divorce and custody issues, workplace bullies and on and on.
I highly recommend his work. He has tremendous experience with both dealing with such people and the problems they present as well as the fact that society is often ill equipped to deal with such people and this makes the situation worse as judges, cops, social workers, employers, HR representatives and many others don't believe that they are dealing with such people or that they are as bad and sometimes ornery or malicious as they actually can be.
There's a tremendous overlap in my opinion for many ex cult members in seeing that courts and police can be unwilling or ineffective regarding dealing with abusive or unfair or downright criminal conduct by a cult.
This definitely shatters assumptions about the world. Many people who are never in cults, aka "normal" people, do not believe the claims of ex cult members and say, "If a fraction of that was true, the police WOULD HAVE STOPPED IT YEARS AGO!" as if real life fits the plot of a police procedural show like Law and Order.
In real life many crimes are never solved.
And many criminal organizations such as Scientology are allowed to operate in many countries for decades after crimes are revealed.
And the fact that the survivors of cults and their traumatized family members are often not believed makes their situation worse, by a lot in many cases.
This is obviously in addition to the many incorrect assumptions many people have about cults and cult members. They see the world as just and themselves as above cultic influence and they justify this by assuming that cult members are vulnerable to recruitment by being especially gullible, stupid, crazy, and on and on.
Cult Expert Margaret Singer interviewed over four thousand ex cult members over decades. She was one of the top cult experts in the world in my opinion.
She remarked that as a college professor she every semester got new students who would discuss the various personality disorders they assumed that the cult members must have BEFORE being recruited into a cult to make them potential cult members and how shocked they were as she explained to them that anyone could be recruited by a cult. The requirement to be vulnerable to a cult is to be a person who could be lied to. That's it.
And any of us can be lied to.
"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself — and you are the easiest person to fool.” Richard Feynman
A lot of cult experts have observed that the belief by an individual that they personally aren't someone who could be fooled or manipulated or hypnotized or brainwashed by whatever terms they describe the act of undue influence and whatever model they are aware of is essential to a person being manipulated in exactly this way. You let your guard down and relax when you are certain you have nothing to worry about.
So, to me the lesson is WE ARE ALL ALWAYS VULNERABLE!!!
You may be aware that this person or that person is lying or running a fraud or using harmful methods or you may be aware that this group or that group is harmful, exploitative, unethical, or a cult. But this is no assurance that a different person or group is not able to manipulate you or me.
We should have the humility to see that we are always human, vulnerable, and fallible. We may have inaccurate beliefs that make us especially vulnerable to one person or group or another at various times and we certainly have subjects we are ignorant about that contribute to our vulnerability. No one knows everything about everything.
A related aspect of the cultic experience and leaving or being cast out of a cult is not one that precult life prepares most of us for.
Many ex cult members see the world quite differently after the cult. The fact is a tremendous amount, but certainly not all, see themselves and the rest of the world as far more capable of evil and vulnerable to evil.
Usually a cult breaks a person down and has the person engage in excessive confession in some form. This was noted by Robert Jay Lifton in his eight criteria for thought reform. In Scientology this is routine via the auditing in Scientology and the ethics conditions and overts and witholds (OWs) write ups.
It is not an exaggeration to say that Scientology requires many people to confess to thousands and thousands of hidden evil acts and hidden secrets.
The Truth Rundown on the RPF in the Sea Org may be the most extreme version of this.
A key reason for this is to make a person lose ALL pride they had as they are overwhelmed with shame. Deep profound shame and self hatred is often the result of the abuse, trauma, and excessive confession that occurs in Scientology and many other cults.
You are primed to be changed by the cult when you have lost your confidence in yourself, your judgement, your character and the choices that you made over your entire life before the cult. The cult can then indoctrinate a recruit and reshape them into a pawn to be manipulated. And the process includes steps to make the transformation permanent and have self protection (for the indoctrination) via beliefs, practices and feelings that are reinforcing the indoctrination via the behavior, words, and even feelings and thoughts of the cult member.
So, as a consequence when a person leaves a cult, if they manage to reject the doctrine and behavior (and to a great degree the beliefs and emotions) the cult sought to create and preserve they often still have the guilt, self hate, and shame they had and additionally feel they were an evil person while in the cult, because they realize the harm the group did, they realize that they helped the cult to do this and many of their own actions were harmful. While in the cult lots of actions are justified by the goals of the group and some are justified because opposition to the cult is itself seen as evil while in the cult.
Additionally, many ex cult members are reluctant to trust people, to love people and to make themselves vulnerable to abuse and betrayal.
There is a specific type of a feeling of betrayal of self that was noted to occur in both ex cult members and victims of childhood sexual abuse by Daniel Shaw in his work on Traumatic Narcissism. He found that both types of survivors were abused or mistreated and may or may not have been able to escape or physically fight back, to varying degrees depending on their age and a variety of circumstances but they often feel they were wrong to trust or even love someone or a group or guru (cult leader) that was willing to harm or abuse.
Plainly, they hate themselves and feel profound shame that they were fooled in these circumstances.
For some ex members and survivors of childhood abuse of this type deep shame can be a major part of their life going forward. It can be the defining emotion for them and persist for decades in some cases.
It gives a very different perspective. Some of these people have literally hundreds of negative thoughts about themselves on a daily basis and never escape this.
It is hard to convey to someone that the normal daily routine experienced by a person is to wake up, hating themselves, thinking dozens of negative thoughts and feeling things like worthlessness, uselessness, not being good enough for anything or anyone, feeling like the worst person in the world and either wanting to die or thinking that the only thing that they can do to improve the world is to leave it and feeling like life can't improve for them and that they are in a no win situation. They may feel that being alone is unbearable and simultaneously feel that making themselves emotionally vulnerable is an act of self betrayal they don't dare repeat.
It can be described as riding a merry go round and wanting to reach for a metaphorical brass ring (being relationships in this comparison) and knowing that one will never reach the ring and fall off the merry go round into more unbearable pain and betrayal if they try but knowing that one is going to be miserable and unfulfilled to the point of desperation and crushing loneliness if they don't get that ring.
The feeling that many ex cult members experience when they leave or are cast out is rightly described by Daniel Shaw as "worse than death." The deep shame is often mortifying humiliation and feels like a death by shame. It is being forced to bear the unbearable and live on through something that you don't see how you can live through.
I have seen numerous ex members of Scientology and other cults express suicidal ideation. They may or may not attempt suicide. Many people who were in Scientology have committed or attempted suicide. The children raised in The Sea Org are a particularly egregious example as many of these children were taken from their parents and alternately neglected and abused with little or no love in their lives. Often their parents rejected them if they didn't succeed in The Sea Org, especially if they rejected Scientology, and they ended up often homeless and some became prostitutes and/or drug addicts and then committed suicide.
The Scientology organization and Sea Org work quite hard at hiding the numerous failures they have had at creating the strong families that Scientology promotes when in fact Scientology destroys families and individuals routinely.
Other cults unfortunately often have similar results.
The education we usually get in society doesn't include letting us know that if we are abused or neglected and survive that we may be suicidal and feel profound shame that persists.
It is not something most parents teach children and religious and secular education is usually lacking in this as well.
I am aware that various therapies and techniques are promoted by several people for this and not certain of the effectiveness of these. I have not seen them fail personally nor have I seen them succeed, so I can neither support or condemn them.
A reality that is unpleasant is that many ex cult members are not going to get therapy after leaving a cult. With some people it is because of economic reasons, with others it involves trust and the abuse they experienced in the cult. Many cults described their harmful techniques as therapeutic and because of this ex members are unwilling to be vulnerable to therapy and therapists again.
It is a simple fact that we have to deal with.
I know that some ex members have claimed some recovery or relief from education and communication about their experiences but certainly don't claim this is a perfect or complete solution. It certainly is not desired by everyone in this situation and many ex members reach a certain degree of progress and get no further via education alone.
The results seem to vary greatly. I have seen the whole spectrum from little or no improvement to vast improvement and everything in between from education.
I think that sometimes the statement that the first step in handling a problem is describing it accurately. I hope that I have at least done this here.
There's definitely a stigma associated with being an ex cult member and further stigma associated with being suicidal or depressed or ashamed. So, you can have family members and friends who leave a cult and are reluctant to admit or discuss these issues.
Sometimes they never tell anyone and never recover and tragically some ex cult members suffer for the rest of their lives and obviously this in my opinion contributes to some of the suicides by ex cult members.
If you want to understand ex cult members it is almost mandatory to understand the mindset of a person taught to be ashamed of themselves and extremely negative in their thoughts about themselves and often downright suicidal mindset as a result of this, even if they dare not act on these thoughts or reveal them to anyone. The cult indoctrination has a self protecting mechanism of deep self hatred and shame that is protected by feeling weak and worthless and unworthy of compassion from oneself or anyone else that makes asking for help a trigger to be closed off and self destructive, not open and vulnerable.
Much of cult indoctrination has been designed with self protecting mechanics like this. When the ex member wants to change or reveal abuse or neglect by the cult often the doctrine interprets this as something to trigger a different behavior and make seeking outside help or revealing the secrets and crimes of the cult unthinkable. Deeply held strong emotions and unexamined assumptions and attitudes are often essential to this process, this trap that is meant to never be escaped, the prison of the mind. Robert Jay Lifton described this as thought stopping cliches in his work. He also described it quite well in his eight criteria for thought reform.
Here's a link to The Eight Criteria For Thought Reform by Robert Jay Lifton:
Dr. Robert J. Lifton's Criteria For Thought Reform...
Here's a link to my blog archive by topic:
Here are several more blog posts related to the issues described in this post.
The Poisoned Heart
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
Seeing Life Through Blood Stained Glasses
Seeing Life Through Blood Stained Glasses
Scientology Reflections (6) 10 Years After Leaving-A Darker Reality
